My Name Is
by Sailor Aurora Helios
Summary: ShonenAi 1x2x1 A couple years after EW, Heero and Duo have been living together and are in love. Duo is nervous about something and tries to distance himself from Heero.


My Name Is… 

By: Sailor Aurora Helios

Rating: PG…. I think…

Pairings: 1x2

Genre: angsty fluff. It's kinda angsty… then gets fluffy.

Notes: Duo's POV

_Italics = thoughts_

Regular = Actions, speaking blah blah…. Not thoughts…

~~~~~

          _My name?__ My name is… well I'll just say Shinigami for now. Yes. I see the shocked expression, and the clueless ones from those who don't know. I am the God of Death. Are you scared? You should be. I'll destroy all of you. I'll take evil back down to hell. Everything was perfect. Until he showed up.  I knew what my mission was. Kill. Kill them all. Anything that is evil must be brought back to hell.  Then he showed up. Sure, I act like a fun-loving care-free guy. Ha! It's a mask you fools. I may be the talkative, hyper one. Again a part of my mask. No one must know the real me.  Shinigami. That is who I really am. Then he showed up. If he wasn't at the port, this wouldn't be happening to me. Damn, him. Why did I let that happen? It's my fault. I let myself get close to someone again. He'll die… even if I don't want him to. He'll die because he got to close to death._

          I sat there. At the counter which connected to the kitchen. Our kitchen. I stared at the can of pepsi in my hand. Heero was at work. I had the day off. I had to figure out a way to stop this before it ended up killing him. I choked at the thought of losing him. _I couldn't just leave. Nope, running away wasn't an option. It would leave to many questions. Suicide? No. He'd probably kill himself if I did. Then something came to my mind. Cheating? Maybe it would work. It would be painful for both of us, but it would more than likely work.  Now all I had to do was figure out who? The easiest would be somebody close. Quatre and Trowa are already an item. That left one person. Wufei Chang. He had shown interest in me. I checked the calendar on the refrigerator. Heero was working overtime on Saturday. Perfect timing. I heard the door open and close. Heero walked into the kitchen._

          "How was work?" I asked him. If I was going to do this, I had to start now.

          "Fine… long a tiring.  A bit boring without you there, koibito, I mean no one was there to annoy Une." Heero said wrapping his arm around my waist from behind. I sighed and pulled myself from his grip.

          "Mmm Hee-Chan, I'm not in the mood." I muttered walking into the living room sitting on the couch. Heero blinked and sat next to me.

          "Duo, are you feeling ok?" Heero asked with concern.

          "Yeah, Heero. I'm ok. Just… I dunno… like I said, I'm just not in the mood today Heero." I answered.

          "Oh… alright then. I won't push you or anything." Heero said after a minute.

          "In fact, I'm going to bed. G-night Heero." I said and retreated to our room lying done. It was pretty late.

          The next morning, I groaned as Heero shook me awake.

          "Baka… we're going to be late to work." Heero muttered already dressed. I groaned and stood in front of the mirror undoing my hair, deciding to get that done first. I stared at Heero's reflection from across the room. _I wonder if a comb has gone anywhere near that mop of hair. I chuckled at the thought. I actually had tried to comb through it once. It was a waste of time. I only managed to brake a couple teeth on the comb. I pulled the brush through my long chestnut locks. One of the few precious thing I owned. After Heero, that is. Damnit, I had to stop thinking like that. I finished getting ready and we drove to work. Today I had to move in on Wufei. Heero and I went to our offices dreading the stacks of paper work. _

          It was my break time and I knocked on the door to Wufei's office. I held some paper I had to give him in one hand. _God, I hope I can pull this off. I heard a muffled 'come in' and opened the door. I stepped into the office. He glanced up at me and the papers I was fumbling with. He went back to his work and said,_

          "Very good, Maxwell, just leave them on my desk." I walked forward placing the papers on his desk. As I walked back toward the door I took a deep breath and said,

          "Y'know Wu-Chan… you looked sexy in the blue tank you use to wear." _Mmm__, sexy in a tank… just like Heero.__ Stop it! Stop thinking like that! Silence. The slight scratching of pen on paper came to a complete halt.  I turned around nervously. Wufei stared me. He blinked._

          "W..w..what???" He stammered.

          "I said…" I was about to repeat it but was interrupted.

          "I thought you were… with Yuy?" Wufei whispered.

          "Yeah well… who says I can't flirt around… I think he's gonna break up with me soon anyway…" I said looking away. _Damn, I hate lying. _

          "So… Wuffie. I'll see you later" I said with a wink and left the room. Everything was set. _This will work. It will be ok, ketto OK.  _

          The week went on and I continued to flirt with Wufei and distance myself from Heero.  Finally it was Friday and I was getting ready. I slipped into Wufei's office.

          "So, Wu-Bear. Heero's workin' tomorrow, you wanna come over?" I asked.  Wufei thought it over for a minute then a sly smirk grew on his face.

          "What time?" 

          "Four thirty, don't be late." I smiled and walked out heading to the parking garage. I hopped in the car to find Heero waiting.

          "Ohayo, koibito." Heero said softly. I smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

          "Do you _have to work tomorrow?" I asked._

          "Yes… But I'll be home at five sharp. I promise, koibito." Heero smiled as he drove.

          "Ok." I pouted.  The next day I waited impatiently. I had been up late and slept in till about one o'clock. I ate a quick breakfast/lunch. 4:25 my watched beeped. In exactly five minutes the door bell rang. _Cool… exactly on time. I opened the door and Wufei stood there a grin on his face._

          "Soo… Duo? What have you planned?" Wufei asked quietly, obviously nervous to be on what you could consider a date with someone he had admired for some time.

          "Are you sure, I'm not getting in the middle of you and Heero's relationship? I would never want to cause you two break up." Wufei said a glare fixated on me.

          "Weeell." I popped this cookie like stick with a chocolate filling, in his mouth.

          "Forget about it. Lets just have fun." I said. He sighed and plopped on the couch. I smiled sitting next to him. We talked most of the time. 30 seconds. 15, I could barely here a jangle of keys. I stared at Wufei and pulled him into a passionate kiss, asking for entrance. He willing allowed and we sat there kissing. I almost shot back at the new taste. It was… different. I had been so used to Heero. My arms slowly wrapped around him and his around mine as I heard the familiar click of the lock releasing. Wufei seemed to not have noticed. The door knob twisted and the clocks chimed. The time had come. Everything fell into place. Heero stepped in. Wufei oblivious to anything that didn't involve me and him, didn't notice. Heero's briefcase that held his laptop and various papers and such, clattered to the floor bringing Wufei back to reality.

          "D… duo!" Heero said in a hushed voice as he stared at us.

          "Duo, I…" Heero's mouth hung open slightly. He ran to our room slamming the door shut and locking it. I closed my eyes and I felt Wufei move away.

          "Duo, I thought. Well then… I'll uhm… see you next week I suppose." Wufei said and walked out closing the door behind him. _That was cruel… I think I shouldn't have done that. It might cause more bad than good. Damnit! Now instead of just hurting Heero, when Wufei finds out the truth… I'll have hurt them both. I can't do anything right. _

          I swallowed the lump that had grown in my throat glared at the remaining food on the coffee tray. I threw it aside. _God damnit!  I looked at the clock. It had been two hours. I stood and walked toward the door to our room. I was about to knock when the door abruptly opened. I stood there face to face with Heero. I stared at the Prussian eyes that I adored. I saw nothing but pain. __Maybe I should explain it to him._

          "Heero, listen…" I started but was pushed aside ruffly and he slammed the door to the room shut walking into the kitchen.

          "Duo." He said in the cold monotonous voice he had used during the war. He took a sip of the drink he had pulled out. I cringed, it was so strange hearing that cold tone again.

          "You don't have to explain anything." Heero said still cold and monotone. I blinked.

          "I understand perfectly." Heero said placing the drink down and returning to the room. When he came back out, he held a suit case in his hand. I nearly fell back I shock. Heero walked towards the door picking up the keys from the ground. 

          "Goodbye, Duo." Heero said as he opened and walked out the door, slamming it behind him.  I stood there in shock. As reality crashed back in I ran at the door. I threw it open running out. The engine started.

          "Heero!!! Wait! Lemmie explain!! Heero, I'm sorry!! You know I love you!!! My heart, soul and body belong to you!!! Please listen to me!!!" I screamed as I ran toward the car pulling out of the drive. It sped off. I ran as fast I could but soon the car was nothing but a black dot. I stood there. The tears escaped. I fell to my knees staring at the horizon. 

          "No… Heero…" I could feel my hands become fists.

          "Damnit…" I whispered.

          "DAMNIT!!!!!!!!!" I screamed pounding my fists on the ground. I returned to our house… my house. I lay down on our couch… my couch. And cried myself to sleep. The whole weekend I cried. When Monday came I prayed Heero would show up. I was late. It was all ready noon. I walked in and by my appearance the others could tell it wasn't a day to mess with me. I dragged myself to Heero's office and pounded on the door. I knew he wasn't going to let me in.

          "He hasn't shown up." Came a soft voice.

          "What!?!?" I whipped around to face Lady Une.

          "Heero hasn't shown up all week? We were starting to wonder…"

          "All week??" I blinked.

          "Duo… today is Thursday." Lady Une said softly.

          "W…what…" I stared. _How could it be Thursday… Had I been out of it that long? _

          "Duo, did something happen… between the two of you?" Lady Une asked kindly. I gave a look that clearly stated I didn't want to talk about it. Une nodded and continued down the hall. I went back to my office and tried to get some work done. I couldn't. I couldn't get anything done the next day either. I walked home trying to figure out where Heero had gone. _Where would he go in a situation like this. Who would he turn to? Duh! The same person any of us would turn to if this happened. Quatre Reberba Winner. When I reached home I threw my stuff aside and grabbed the phone and dialed the number._

          "Hello, Winner residence. Quatre speaking." Quatre's familiar voice said through the phone.

          "Quatre! It's me! Has Heero come by??" I asked, I wondered if he could hear the desperateness in my voice.

          "Oh. It's you." Quatre said in a tone I wasn't used to. It sounded… cold, like he was mad at me. Which meant, Heero had been there.

          "What do you want." Quatre asked.

          "Quatre, is Heero there. Please tell me. I know he was there at some time." I called into the phone.

          "Hey! I suggest packing… I think he's gonna pull a Relena and start stalking you…" Quatre said to someone else. I glared.

          "Quatre! That's just cold! Whatever…" I slammed the phone down and ran into our room. I grabbed a duffle bag and stuffed in handfuls of clothing. I raced into the garage and jumped into my black convertible throwing the duffle bag in back. I turned on the engine on and sped towards where Quatre was staying in one of his many mansions. It took about four hours. I raced out of the car. Something wasn't right. I could feel it. I knocked on the door. Quatre opened.

          "Hello. Figures you'd come immediately." Quatre sighed.

          "Where's Heero? Quatre, please tell me." I pled. Quatre sighed again.

          "He went out into the woods. He said he need some time to think by himself." Quatre said.

          "No.." I whispered. I darted around the corner of the large mansion. I ran through the forest. _Where is he? I ran and ran. Click. I froze. I knew that sound all to well. It was the release of the safety on a gun. Heero's gun. I ran towards the sound. There he was, standing there the gun at his temple._

          "Heero!!!" I screamed. He spun around. Time slowed down. I could hear my heartbeat in my head. My heart jumped into my throat.

Ba dum.

Ba dum.

Ba dum.

I saw the barrel of the gun pointed at me.

Ba dum.

Ba dum.

Ba dum.

A bullet tore through flesh.

Ba dum.

Ba dum.

A body hit the ground.

Ba dum.

Red. That's all I could see. Red pooling around.

Ba dum.

Ba… dum…

          "Oh.. my… god! DUO!!!" Heero screamed. The gun hit the ground. Feet pounded the floor.

          "Duo! Please! Say something, Duo! Don't… don't go! Duo!! You can't leave me! You c..can't. You said you'd never leave me…" Heero called out. Heero  wrapped his arm around me. He pulled me closer, barying his face my hair.

Ba… dum…

Ba… dum…

Ba… dum…

          Tears ran down his cheeks. 

          "Duo, please don't leave me. I need you. You were the one that has helped me all these years. You taught me about these… these emotions that were stomped out of me. You were there for me, I don't know…." Heero trailed off.

Ba…… dum…

Ba…… dum…

Ba…… dum…

          "Duo…" Heero whispered.

          "He.. Heero." I whispered.

          "Duo! I thought I—" Heero said, cut off.

          "Heero… shut up!......" I looked  down at my waste. My black shirt was stained red. I placed my hand on the wound trying to stop the bleeding. I winced in pain.

          "Hold still…" Heero pulled off his shirt, ripping it he wrapped it around my waist.

          "Th…thanks. Look, Hee..ro. I'm sor..ry. M… me and Wufei. All I could think… was you. I… was scared. I did..n't want to hurt you. I..I..I didn't want to… kill… you."  I explained quietly.

          "What do you mean? Kill me?" Heero asked puzzled.

          "Every… one I ever… loved…. has died. After… all… I'm.. Shinigami." I struggled to say. I turned my head coughing up blood.

          "Duo… don't say that. Oh shoot. Not good. Come on lets go." Heero lifted me up. He walked quickly back to the mansion.

Ba…… dum……

Ba…… dum……

Ba…… dum……

          "Heero… I'm sor..ry." I whispered closing my eyes.

          "No! Duo don't you dare close your eyes! Don't you dare! Keep your eyes open. Please… don't close your eyes." Heero said firmly.

          "I'll… try… for you." I whispered.

Ba…… dum……

Ba…… dum……

Ba…… dum……

          "Quaaaatreeee!!!" Heero screamed.

          "What! Heero what's wrong!? Oh my god! What happened??" Quatre said staring at Heero and me.

          "You got a hospital wing in here??" Heero shouted.

          "Yeah but I think we should get him—"

          "No time! Get Sally here NOW!" Heero shouted. Quatre nodded holding open the door.

Ba…… dum……

Ba…… dum……

Ba…… dum……

           "In here, hurry."

 _White… lights. Bright. Where am I? Light. No. No! Let me go!  I can't go towards the light, I don't want to._

Ba…… dum……

          _Let me go! I'm not ready to leave! It's to scary to die. Heero! Get me out of here! Heero!  I'm not going down with out a fight! If I die, I'll die fighting!  I won't give up! _

Ba……… dum………

Ba……… dum………

Ba……… dum………

          _White.__ Still white. I want out. I can't do this anymore. I'm… loosing this battle. Please… let me go. I want to go back to Heero. Fine. I give up._

Ba……………… dum………………

Ba……………… dum………………

Ba……………… dum………………

          _I… give up. I surrender.  Just take me already. I want some sleep. So tired. Can't do this any more…_

………………………………………

………………………………………

………………………………………

          _I'm sorry……… Goodbye Heero…_

          "Don't give up on me. Please Duo! Wake up. You can fight this! I know you can! You've fought this long you can't give up now."

          _Heero?___

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

          "No… Duo don't give up. You can't…… Duo. Why did you give up?"

          "I'm sorry, Heero. We lost him.  I'm very sorry Heero."

          _Sally? Sally Po?_

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

          "Heero. I.. I'm sorry. I can't begin to imagine how I'd feel if… I lost… Trowa."

          _Quatre?___

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

          "No! He can't die! He is death! Death can't die! My Shinigami can't die! I won't believe it!"

          "Heero. He's flat lined."

          _NO! I'm not giving up! Heero! I'm coming! _

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP Beep……… Beep……... Beep……… Beep……… Beep……… 

          "Oh… my god! He's…"

          "He's alive. I told you! My Shinigami dosen't give up!" Heero said quietly.

          "It's… It's a mircle…"

          _Heero… I love you…_

          "I love you too, Duo." I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was deep Prussian blue orbs. The orbs I loved so much.

          Heero smiled as my eyes slowly fluttered open. Heero smiled as he stared in to deep violet orbs. The orbs he loved so much.

          _My name… My name isn't Shinigami. My name isn't this curse. My name is a miracle. _

_My name is Duo Maxwell Yuy._

~Owari~

~Author~Notes~

Agh…. I'm sorry, this turned fluffy in the end. I just couldn't kill Duo!!! Well what do you think? Please review! Please? *turns chibi, does big chibi puppy dog eyes* Pwease?

~Kate~


End file.
